ECHS and Triglycerides: Life In a Naval Veterans WhatsApp Group

Each Indian is a member of at least five WhatsApp groups – one or two for the family, one for office colleagues, one for close friends, etc. Some, like The Wife, have multiple sub groups too. Her family groups for example include….

Entire family with husband.

Entire family minus husband.

Only siblings.

Only siblings minus the brother.

All cousins.

Only non dog loving cousins.

Only cousins whose names start with vowels.

I too have my share of WhatsApp groups, each having its own distinct characteristics. For the purpose of this blog however, please allow me to delve in some depth on one of those groups, viz the naval veterans group of Hyderabad. It is called the TASA Naval Veterans.

As almost all members of the group are 56 years and above, naturally, many hold strong opinions on Triglycerides and hip mobility. TASA I deduced, actually stands for “The Ailments and Sugar Association”.

I find the transformation of men who had once launched missiles, fired anti-submarine torpedoes and deliberated the geo-political implications of Chinese creep into the Indian Ocean, now discussing the merits of drinking methi water every morning, fascinating. The TASA group which was formed to disseminate important directives related to naval veteran’s welfare, has been gradually converted into the waiting room of a multi-specialty hospital.

Common Discussion Topic 1 – ECHS

A morning starts with a….

‘Can someone share the list of empaneled hospitals?’

(Though this list is posted/updated periodically by the Admin, this innocent query starts off an avalanche.)

‘Apollo is no longer empaneled. The ECHS (the health scheme for retired Armed Forces personnel) is useless.’

Another naval veteran concurs. ‘My brother was in the Customs and the CGHS is excellent. Why didn’t we just follow the same provisions?’

‘Well my cousin was in a PSU and their schemes are cashless in ANY hospital’.

(Yesterday, I counted 177 messages on the relative merits of other schemes versus ECHS. The conclusion being that the ECHS is the worst.)

‘How does that help me?’

‘KIMS hospital is excellent’

‘Is it empaneled?’

‘I don’t know.’

Commander Krishna Kanwal Kadetotad adds his bit, ‘Bloody ECHS is pathetic.’

This discussion goes on till lunch because that is when the naval veterans realize with a start that it is ‘beer time’.

Common Discussion Topic 2 – Individual Health Concerns

‘Can someone suggest a good hospital for diabetes?’

‘Why, what are your levels?’

‘A bit off, 112.’

(This sets off an action alarm in the fleet.)

‘Check HbA1C.’

‘Monitor this closely’ suggests a retired naval doctor unhelpfully.

‘Don’t forget to walk 10000 steps daily’, suggests another.

‘10000 is not sacrosanct. It depends on your body structure. Even 6000 steps are ok.’

‘Brother, just have three almonds soaked overnight, first thing in the morning. Nothing else is needed.’

(This starts off another parallel discussion on whether the almonds should be had

• with or without skin
• ground or as is
• soaked or dry

The group is split into two opposing sides. Long held camaraderie is tested. Some heat is also generated till our Admin, the very genial Commodore PR, reminds the excited naval veterans that the purpose of the group is not to discuss almonds, whole or grounded, soaked or dry.

The next day, and with the Admin’s admonishment having been forgotten, one of the ‘technical’ officers (as is their wont), forwards a 27 slide PPT on liver functions, complete with an AIIMS study that even the erudite me could not understand. By slide 13, the genial Admin (himself a ‘techie’) too had developed a strong distaste for PPTs. Another more practical ‘Executive Officer’ proffers that a medicinal paste made of herbs found in Arunachal, and available in his Uncle’s shop in Kottayam, is good for the liver. No online orders unfortunately.

A third veteran jumps in and lectures one and all on the various medical conspiracies – mainly how ‘Big Pharma’ keeps discovering new diseases for us to worry about. By way of proof, he narrates the experience of his cousin in Muzzafarnagar who reversed fatty liver purely by keeping tulsi leaves in his armpit overnight, for a week.

Cdr KKK meanwhile, ‘bloody ECHS is pathetic.’

Discussion Topic 3 – Hospitals

Usually, every second discussion revolves around hospitals. Everyone has his favourite hospital and/or doctor and the merits/demerits of one against the other are discussed with a certain lively intensity.

‘I would strongly advise against getting admitted into Room 7 of the Military Hospital. The beds are concave to the extent that one is left resembling the filling in a Chicken Taco.’

‘The Cardiology department at the Care hospital Banjara Hills is excellent. The samosas however are disappointing.’

‘The Orthopaedic surgeon at Medicover is reasonably good. His handwriting however is illegible. So much so that the pharmacy gave me an ointment for piles instead of Diclofenac. Thank heavens I cross checked when the pharmacist said “insert slowly once a day.’’’

‘Plus, if one wants parking one needs to reach the hospital by 0800h’, advises another.

‘ABC hospital is useless. The buggers care two hoots for us veterans. It took me three hours to see a doctor who ushered me out in two minutes. I had just started narrating the first of seven problems with my colon.’

‘Not as useless as ECHS’ reminds Cdr KKK.

Conversely, naval veterans have a certain affinity for doctors who ‘explain in depth.’ These doctors are revered.

‘A very good chap. He answered all my wife’s questions patiently. Spent 40 minutes with him.’

Common Discussion Topic 4 – Private Insurance

Last Monday started well with one veteran heralding the morning with a ‘Good Morning’ and a bouquet of flowers on the group.

Cdr KKK responded, ‘Bloody ECHS is pathetic.’ This of course took us back to our favourite topic.

A few members of the group, some who feel one can never be too careful, and some who concur with Cdr KKK, have also opted for private medical insurance. And when one talks of medical insurance, the phrase ‘cashless procedures’ has that ‘moth to a flame’ kind of magnetic fascination for veterans.

One officer narrates how his knee replacement surgery was completely cashless. 23 Commodores, 17 Commanders and assorted other ranks get activated, as if someone had shouted ‘alarm torpedo, green 40’.

‘Which provider? Which policy? Total coverage?’

‘How much is the premium?’

‘Is Pre-existing covered?’

‘Is there any room rent cap?’

‘What about automatic top up?’

‘Can one drink alcohol?’

‘Please read the fine print carefully.’

Cdr KKK, clearly one not easily sidetracked, repeats, ‘Bloody ECHS is pathetic.’

At this point one usually finds a 77 year old Captain, who everyone had noticed was typing for the last 30 minutes, maybe with one finger, dampens everyone’s enthusiasm – ‘Don’t think private insurance is better. The idiots rejected my claim for a hernia operation in 2024 because I had eaten brinjals with jam in 2015. They just collect money every year happily and then look at you like one would at a cockroach in one’s salad, when you file a claim.’

He concluded with, ‘bloodsuckers, parasites, vultures, vermin, hyenas all of them’. My keen understanding of human psychology told me that it clearly still rankled.

In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen, these are the same naval veterans who spent their youth safeguarding our nation; far away from families and sailing through rough seas, sleepless nights and operational tensions. That they have now been reduced to worrying about empanelled hospitals and medical reimbursement claims via ECHS, has a touch of deep pathos.

And yet, despite the endless bickering over ECHS, or whether milk/turmeric is better than crushed garlic for cholesterol, one knows that if any member of the group lands up in hospital, twenty naval veterans will immediately rally around with phone numbers, hospital references and entirely unsolicited medical opinions. One can also rely on Cdr KKK to bring methi water.

Which, when one thinks about it, is perhaps what friendship in old age really should be. Life after all is measured not in years, but in friends collected enroute. Even if only to discuss, like Amitabh Bachhan in Piku, problems with bowel movements.

PS – If the above made you smile, please forward it to other veterans groups.

PPS – The above was only in jest of course. I think most veterans are quite satisfied with ECHS, Cdr KKK included.