How to speak like a sailor in three minutes! A guide to naval terms

In the year 2001, I was ‘detailed to volunteer’ by the Navy to write a piece on naval terms for the ‘Midday’ (05 Feb. Edit Page). I therefore am quite an established writer – a slightly more polished contemporary of Dr Shashi Tharoor even.

Though the passage of time has dimmed my memory, let me try and reproduce some of the naval terms. Hopefully, by the time you read this article, you will not feel you are watching Bahubali in Swahili without subtitles, the next time you hear two naval guys talking. I can also assert that the explanations are at least 27% correct – significantly better than the 2% accuracy achieved by our excitable but patriotic media during ‘Op Sindoor’. Let us dive in…

A ‘landlubber’, someone who has never been on a ‘man o war’, would need to ‘embark’ one via the ‘brow’ – the narrow plank that connects the ship to the jetty.

Most first timers would find that this manoeuvre has a certain degree of difficulty involved, especially if the ship is moving with the wind/waves. Hint – Don’t look down. Slackness while crossing may also result in an imperious ‘chop chop’ shouted at you from someone onboard, a naval term not for you to start chopping, but to be snappy with your footwork.  

Now ladies, howsoever awkward you may feel on this plank, be prepared to be rewarded for not having fallen into the waters below, with a smart salute by all men on the ship. (This need to comport oneself like a lady while navigating the often unsteady brow and simultaneously acknowledging the salutes, always disconcerted The Wife).

Let me digress a bit. Navigating the brow or the ladders/staircases on ships is for reasons stated, especially trying for ladies wearing sarees, or even worse, skirts. Besides the physical difficulties such clothes raise, they also perforce give a somewhat revealing peek to those below.

 I recall an occasion when my ship was at Hamburg and the Indian Ambassador there was a lady of some wit (later to become our Foreign Secretary). I had advised her to avoid wearing a saree/skirt when she expressed a desire to visit the ship. She (you know how women are) had a different take on the subject. She suggested, or rather commanded – Well then, don’t have anyone below when I go up the ladder!  

Once onboard, you will realize that the ship is a ‘she’. There are many reasons for this (all carry forwards from the unwoke era), but let’s just agree that being maintenance heavy is one. ‘She’ comprises other naval terms such as ‘foxle’ (the forward part of the ship), short for forecastle (from the days when there was actually a small castle at the fore to ward off enemy arrows), and the quarterdeck (the rear part. And no! A Rear Admiral is not an Admiral fond of ‘Rears’). The midships is sandwiched in between. The absolute ‘backside’ of the ship is, called the ‘stern’ and not, er, backside/butt/ass/booty/rump. We like to keep things professional you see.

Her floors are called somewhat unintuitively, ‘decks’, her walls even more unintuitively, ‘bulkheads’ and her ceilings, obviously, ‘deckheads’.  Lavatories, on the other hand, being too fancy a word for us simpletons, are just christened, ‘heads’. Go ahead, scratch your nut at this logic.

The Commanding Officer or Captain of any warship is always the ‘old man’.  Never mind that he may be a mere stripling  of thirty; with many wizened ‘seadogs’ serving under him, many proud owners of underwear older than the ‘old man’.

The Second in Command is for some reason I can’t fathom (a fathom is actually a measure for six feet) called ‘Number One’ or alternatively, the EXO. The EXO’s job includes overseeing everything, smiling at nothing, shouting at everything and taking the blame when the CO makes a SNAFU (Situation Normal. All Fouled Up. This acronym is perfect for all things Navy. Accommodation, food, supply chains and especially, information security. Some of the more rustic mariners have a more colourful full form for FU, though.)

The navigator is called the ‘Pilot’, the Anti Submarine Officer ‘Pings’ (cause sonars, like microwave ovens, go ping ping!).  The Gunnery Officer is unimaginatively, ‘Guns’, and the Communications Officer imaginatively, ‘Flags’ (from the days when flags were the primary means of communication. The most famous order in naval history for example, Nelson’s “England expects every man to do his duty”, was conveyed by flags alone.)

The Engineer Officer is the ‘Chief’ and the Electrical Officer, ‘Sparks’. Midshipmen are called ‘snotties’ because in the olden days, Midshipmen could be as young as 12-15 year old lads who would often have runny noses. But a Midshipman nominated as a ‘liaison/assistant’ to an Admiral would be called, not a snottie, but a ‘Doggie’. Yes, we are like that only.

The seniormost seaman sailor is called the Bosun (short for Boatswain). He is the ship’s chief problem solver, disciplinarian and headache giver. Plus he can talk to the Captain as one would to a child and glare any Admiral down. 

A ship when in harbour is allotted a ‘berth’. Ships not allotted berths may be told to anchor, but strangely, at some point in time, all sailors also need to ‘swallow the anchor’. No, it does not mean ingesting a one ton anchor,  but rather retiring from the Navy. While swallowing the anchor is a sad day for most, what sailors are not sad swallowing is ‘grog’ – that key contributor towards maintaining morale, rum.

Sailors like to send said grog ‘down the hatch’ is one gulp. A hatch is the opening that one uses to go up and down decks (stories or levels) on a ship, but also prone to give you a painful lump on the head if you aren’t (after generous helpings of grog), careful.

Don’t get all excited if you are told the Captain wants to give you a ‘bottle’ though. For a ‘bottle’ in the Navy does not imply grog aplenty, but a solid verbal shafting in the most florid of naval epithets. It is amazing how even the most reticent Captain can get full of oratorical flourish when he is delivering aforementioned bottle.

Haven’t we all shown our ‘true colours’ at some point in time or the other? Well this phrase actually is a relic from the days when ships would unfurl their national flags just before going into battle)

If these ‘true colours’ are overly boisterous, you will be often told to ‘pipe down’ in the civil world. This too has been carried forward from the naval ‘pipe down’ which is an order for men to switch off all lights and go to sleep. Originally however, this was an order to douse all tobacco pipes before sleeping so that there was no risk of accidental fires.  Conversely, ‘out pipe’ is an order to get to work after a meal or tea break; literally, out with the smoking pipes and in with the working. Our Navy, fond of Hindi, has translated this to an intriguing, ‘cigarette bandh’.

You will agree that gossip is the glue that binds human kind. Sailors are no different. I am given to understand that gossip mainly starts around the coffee machine in offices. On ships however, it starts around the water dispenser called a bit inelegantly, ‘butt’. The hole that dispenses water is called, fortunately, not the butt-hole, but ‘scuttle’ and hence gossip is called naturally, ‘scuttlebutt’. Not so natural? Well, I didn’t coin these naval terms.

Most of my 12 readers will know the commonest of naval terms, port and starboard. Originally, long back, ships used sextants (but largely luck) to navigate. To allow a clear unobstructed view of stars at night, all ships had a board protruding on its right side for sextant measurements. Hence, ships could go alongside in a port only on the left. Ergo we got the ‘port- side’ and ‘star-board- side’ for left and right. There you have it, one of the biggest mysteries of naval terms revealed!

Ladies and gentlemen, some of the terms above may have sounded like ‘bilge’ to you (dirty discarded oily water, but also, colloquially, nonsense) and left you ‘all at sea’. But I am hoping that ‘by and large’ (a sailing term meaning under all conditions), it would have helped at least a few of you gain your ‘sea legs’. (Sailors take a few years to get their sea legs. It is only then that they can walk on a heaving ship with that strange gait of a drunkard attempting the waltz during a kabaddi raid.) Bravo Zulu to you all then!

A confession – A Rear Admiral is in a way, an Admiral of the Rear. Not THAT Rear, but the rear of a formation of ships, which being comparatively further away from the main battle, was typically commanded by a relatively junior Admiral.

PS – This post has been inspired by a similar (and infinitely better) explanation of naval lingo at https://senatorvivekhande.blogspot.com/2024/

And finally dear Reader, if reading this made you smile, please forward it to two friends who take life too seriously.