The Navy decided one fine day, sometime in 2011, that handsome Captain RK Dahiya (my seven readers will know that that is me) was the most appropriate guy to commission (ceremoniously induct) a new ship for our Navy from, and in, Russia. Excited at this honour, and pumped to the hilt, I quickly turned to the one person who knows everything, err Mr Google, to get a jump start and know a bit about my new ship. Google didn’t disappoint me and a surprisingly large amount of data could be ascertained in great detail, some of which if I reproduce here, would amount to treason and a violation of the OSA. Fatefully, Google also told me that the ship’s pennant number (the number painted on a ship’s side as an identifier) was F45.
I joined the rest of the Team in Mumbai in preparation for our departure for Russia and a quick check with the staff confirmed that our ship was indeed F45. Thereafter time passed in a blur with various administrative details, getting passports/clearances for everyone, sorting out the logistics, etc. After a few months of frenetic activity, we all landed up in a shockingly cold Russia sometime in end December. (The coldest day we experienced was incidentally minus 27 degrees. But that isn’t what this post is about).
Three days before the commissioning ceremony, it struck me that while I had read all orders/communications wrt our ships name, commissioning procedures, etc, I hadn’t sighted any that stated our pennant number was F45. Now who is the one person more reliable than Google? The EXO! (Executive Officer, also the second in command of the ship). So, I called him and put forth my query – “Do we have any orders designating us as F45”. The EXO, full of reassuring confidence, asked for two minutes to come up with the document. Relieved at the exuded confidence, I settled down to wait for him. Two minutes passed and so did two hours. Ultimately, the EXO fetched up after about three hours looking quite reluctant to make my acquaintance. Now my EXO was as such alabaster skinned, but at that moment he looked even more so, perhaps even ghostly white. He walked up to me with a careworn face and uttered these mind-numbing words – “Sorry Sir, but our pennant number is not F45, it is F 50”. As you can well imagine I goggled. The EXO in commiseration goggled too. It wouldn’t have surprised me if anyone sighting us then would have mistaken it to be a goggling competition. We goggled so much that no words were exchanged for a full minute. My mind in a turmoil, I contemplated shouting at him, crying with him, wringing his neck and other such wholly useless ideas.
But calmness in the face of adversity is what I am known for and hence after three full minutes of goggling, I asked him in as calm a demeanour as I could summon – “Do we have any gifts (you know those trinkets we tend to distribute during such occasions – key chains, paper weights, tie pins, cuff links, caps, crests, commemorative coins, etc) that do not have F45 printed/embossed on them? The EXO replied in the negative and unhelpfully added that the visitor’s book (to be signed by the Chief Guest and other dignitaries) also had F45 proudly emblazoned across it in font size 48. And as an afterthought, he also let it slip in that the invitation cards which had already been sent out to all invitees including our Ambassador, the Mayor of the city and the local Commander-in-Chief of the Russian Navy, too reflected the same blasted number.
Now besides calmness of manner, and even though I say it myself, I am also known for quick decision making. So, I said, “EXO, okay then, we will not distribute any gifts during the commissioning. And we will request the Russians to quickly repaint our pennant number on the ship’s side to reflect the correct one”. The EXO, quite aware of the magnitude of our predicament and the repercussions thereon, nodded in acceptance.
But wait! Even though I said it earlier myself, you now know that I am of a calm manner and a quick decision maker. Please allow me to add that I am a man of action too. Being aware that every member of the crew would be looking at their Captain to do SOMETHING, I thought, what the heck, lemme give it a try. I called up the Admiral dealing with such issues at Naval Headquarters. Having not even a modicum of an excuse to fall back upon, I gave him a brief of the situation in a rather convoluted, rambling and ‘unbrief’ manner.
As soon as he got the import of my rambling, he, quite understandably, took off like a rocket and lectured me on the seriousness of the issue, the ramifications, the reactions of the senior hierarchy, the embarrassment it would cause us in a foreign country, etc. Precisely the thoughts that were already in my mind. Mustering all my courage, I cut him short and said, “Sir, now is not the time for shouting. I’ll call you AFTER the commissioning and you can shout to your heart’s content then. But presently, we need to change the ship’s number to F45”. I thought I had got through to him. But he recommenced his lecture with renewed vigour, this time educating me on the complexity of the task, the volume of file work involved, the expected reactions of the Chief of Naval Staff, The Defence Minister, and so on. However, recognizing the enormity of the diplomatic fiasco that we were potentially facing he, bless his heart, finally consented to try his best; without any assurance though.
I don’t know what the Admiral did, but I and the entire crew of the ship will always remember him very fondly. The next morning we got a fax from Naval Headquarters – “For F50 read F45”. Whew!!!
Are you serious? 😭 Again are you serious?? 🤔
I AM serious. Again I AM serious Sir. It sounds funny now, but caused not a little consternation then!
Sir, now I laugh aloud at this story but on that day, being your Engineer Officer, I was goggling with the rest of the crew in the other room hoping that EXO shall return in one piece. What a day that was !!!
Life is always hilarious in hindsight I guess! What a day it was indeed!!
What a change sir ji
Yes Sir, courtesy my snafu, the Navy had to disturb its planned numbering!
Amazing this was really a well managed issue between Exo , you and Admiral sir … it was quite hilarious and never could even imagine such a grave situation with respect to pennant number mishap could even take place…Good learning lesson sir
Good learning lesson yes – never trust Google baba! Thanx Mathias
Lovely article Sir.
Thank you Sir
Good evening Sir,
As always hilarious. And very well managed.
Highest regards,
Hilarious, but only in hindsight! Thanx Baldev
What a read! I am happy I subscribed to this blog.
Thank you very much!
This was really hilarious and a nice example of tangent thinking!
The commissioning crew of Kirpan had a similar experience, wherein in the last moment the ship’s base port was shifted from Mumbai to Vizag. There were rumour earlier but every one assured that the ship would be based on Mumbai, like it’s two predecessors – Khukri, and Kuthar. All crew had reported to the commissioning cell in Mumbai and taken up accommodation, schooling etc. The commissioning Warranty, however, confirmed our worst fears! I wish the CO (Desig) could make it read “for …..read……”, as it happened in case of F 50 err…F 45!
Well that just shows that there is never a dull moment in our Navy! Thanx Aggie
Sir. Nice piece. We had gone to the US with entire memorablia , T shirts, track suit , Sea Cap spelt as Jalashva. Commussioning Letter read Jalashwa. Our mascot on all items was Jal + Ashwa = Sea Horse. Navy decided to change to Hippo (Daryayi Ghora) almost on the last day. Our sea caps had H 41 (LPD) but were allotted pennent number L41. Lastly, we had a very annoyed admiral as MoD didnot approve anyone to visit the US for Commissioning. Rest is left to readers imagination. Regards
Oh! This story is even better than mine. Thanx Dinesh
Nice one sir
“sir! I just finished reading your article on the name and number mix-up during the ship’s commissioning, and it was an absolute delight! The humor, combined with the insight into handling such a high-stakes situation, really had me hooked. I appreciate how you bring out the lighthearted moments amidst what must have been quite the experience. Looking forward to more such stories from your naval adventures!”
Thanx RK! The humour comes entirely in hindsight only. That day as can be imagined, was a tense one
Sir, My reaction on reading this was ….. WTF. Quite a hilarious incident. I am sure all possible adjectives would have been exchanged amongst the heirarchy. But well managed in the end Sir.
Thanx a lot Poornanand! Yes, even adjectives not in any dictionary were exchanged, and liberally!
Hair raising stuff.
Yes it was, for one full 24 hour period!
Superb narrative power and made it lucid.
Thanx a lot
Superb narrative power and made it lucid.
Morning delight..Nice article…!
Thanx a lot Mir
OMG – sounds funny NOW; but can empathize with the palpitations THEN…humour in uniform is probably only in hindsight !!
Oh yes Kaushik! Difficulties are always funny in hindsight!!
Thank you!
I was just looking for this info for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative web sites in top of the list. Usually the top web sites are full of garbage.