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Finding Humour in Slices of Life

Military Service Reflections. The Joys and Sorrows of Horse Riding

rakeshkdahiya, 16/04/202420/04/2025

Training at the National Defence Academy has quite a large percentage of time devoted to the physical. This includes PT, swimming, drill, cross country, boxing, various troop games and (strangely) horse riding. One would expect, extrapolating from the movies, that horse riding is great fun –starting with hearty ‘yee haw’, the wind ruffling the hair, the exhilaration of speed, the adventure of cross country rides, etc. Unfortunately for most cadets at the Academy, equestrian experiences are as far removed from those experienced by Clint Eastwood, as BJP is left wing.  

Horse riding classes at the Academy are mandatory and Cadets are lumped into troops of 8-10 under one ‘Ustaad’. Good teacher to pupil ratio. So far so good. The ordeal starts however, with the Ustaad instructing us to get our respective horses after the mandatory ‘fall in/muster’.  Now theoretically, a horse named for example Maharaj, would by any other name remain ( iaw Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet), a horse, right? Well, as it turns out, our bloke Shakespeare didn’t know his gulab jamun from his karela.  All horses I have learnt, have distinct individual characteristics; some are placid creatures and some antsy. Some respond to the smallest commands; some are stubborn like the proverbial mules. In recognition of this individuality of horses, the Ustaads used the somewhat unique methodology of identifying the friskiest of them by the simple ruse of tying a red ribbon to its tail. 

So, once the Ustaad has directed the Cadets to fetch their horses, it starts a stampede with all cadets running at top speed towards the stables. Not mind you like eager beavers keen to make maximum use of the 90 allotted minutes, but with the altogether different and curious aim of being the first to inspect the backside of each horse; cause that is where the tail of a horse generally is of course! The faster you reach the stable, the better your chances of identifying the red ribboned ones and avoiding them like the plague. Conversely, the slower you are at sprints, the more your chances of being saddled with a red ribbon festooned fait accompli; and a torrid subsequent 90 minutes of riding thereafter. Each troop of 8-10 horses would have 2-3 of these recalcitrant beasts.

Watching novices during their first 2-3 classes, (if one is not one of them), is sheer comedy. A comedy that starts with the mounting itself. Now mounting a horse at the NDA is not what one sees in movies – one leg on the stirrup – use it as a fulcrum – heave oneself up onto the saddle. In NDA, the Ustaads insist on Cadets standing next to the horse facing the saddle, and then holding onto the saddle with both hands, jump and land on the saddle astride, in one swift motion. Not easy mind you cause what is of utmost importance here is that the horse should stand still. If the horse is a non conformist and doesn’t care for this basic requirement, we would often have Cadets jumping up elegantly and landing inelegantly, headfirst, on the other side on the ground.  Most however, managed to get a hang of it after 2-3 tries. Not the poor souls with red ribboned steeds though. These souls would see the horse trot 5-10 metres away each time, just as one lines up for the jump. Accordingly, one would be left hopping awkwardly, quite in a Sunny Deol ‘esque’ dance, with both hands on the saddle and both legs imitating the children’s game of hop scotch, hither and thither. Ultimately however, with some stern but useless words from the Ustaad, and some rib tickling (for others) toing and froing, all cadets would find themselves seated nervously on the horse. Just temporarily though, because the Ustaads, with the intention of making us professionals at least at mounting/dismounting if nothing else, would make us do so repeatedly; to great mirth, or frustration, depending on whether you are with or sans red ribbon. Then Ustaads also had this charming notion that making us go under the horse and between its legs would open our minds to ‘horse fear free’ horizons. Accordingly, we did much of that too, gingerly of course, aware as we were that while a human rib cracks at 700 psi, a horse can deliver a kick at 2000 psi. 

Over time however, say 8-10 classes, all cadets develop enough expertise to give the Ustaad confidence to take us ‘cross country’; instead of in circles within enclosed confines. Which also implies that the red ribboned horses, finally get a chance to exhibit in full, the qualities that earned them the ribbons in the first place. Like for example, when the troop is moving along at steady trot in one almost straight column. I say ‘almost straight’ because the red ribboned horses care little for symmetry. They tend to be free spirits that yearn to strike out on their own. Consequently, the poor cadets atop these rebels, as such hanging on for dear life, have a torrid time going first this way and that in sheer defiance of the desired linearity. Other horses just wander off with the cadets bouncing awkwardly atop. Their flapping of arms and legs in a quest to get the horses to obey being as useless as a ladder made of particularly flexible rubber.

And then some horses have this less than endearing habit of stopping suddenly mid canter. This causes, in accordance with the learned Mr Newton’s laws of motion (I won’t be surprised if he came across his theories while watching cadets at the Academy), the cadet to slide forward gracelessly onto the horse’s neck. The more agile ones would manage to hang on thus in loving but funny hug, on the horse’s neck, butt up in the air. The less agile would somehow manage to hang on UNDER the horse’s neck in an incredulous embrace.

The even less agile however, would go somersaulting over the neck and onto the hard unyielding ground. Any horse, suddenly divested of his load, has this infuriating habit of galloping off into the distance. The Ustaad, never fond of returning to the stables a horse or two less, would make the cadet(s) go after the horse to get it back. Now what with the speed differential between the horse and cadet, the rest of the 90 minutes would go in said cadet chasing after said horse in predestined doom. The horses I must point out, do have a sense of humour. Or spite. Because once having bolted a fair distance away, they would start grazing peaceably, but only till the cadet reaches grasping distance. Once so, they would take off again. Ultimately, the cadet would just give up after 10-15 km of futile chasing, and come back to the stable shamefaced, crestfallen and dishevelled; only to find the blasted horse already having found it’s way back, munching away unconcernedly, head borrowed in the feeding trough.

A final word on horse riding. Courtesy the way one sits on a horse, astride, there is considerable contact and resultant friction between one’s butt/upper inner thighs and the saddle – caused by the uneven bounce one experiences on a horse’s back. 90 minutes of this friction leads one to lose hair in the sensitive contact areas and causes attendant rawness. The more hirsute you are, the worse the agony. It is rather easy thus to guess that a cadet had been horse riding by the ludicrous ‘vishram’ position waddle that he needs to perforce adopt for a day or two. Bathing too is, as you can imagine for the next few days, not for the faint hearted. Shrieks from the bathroom as the water dribbles down to the ‘right spot’ is quite common post a riding class.

In summary, horse riding is more sorrow and pain and exquisite joys if any, are but marginal.

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Comments (41)

  1. Harinder Singh says:
    16/04/2024 at 2:55 pm

    Awesome RKD
    Too good
    Regards
    Harry

    Reply
    1. DK Sharma says:
      16/04/2024 at 3:10 pm

      Enjoyed the *trot* experience to the hilt RKD. Looking out for some experiences of a jump from 10m springboard.

      Reply
      1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
        16/04/2024 at 3:16 pm

        Am working on swimming experiences at NDA first. Of course a blog on the jump will follow. Thanx DK

        Reply
    2. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:51 pm

      Thank you very much Harry

      Reply
  2. Baldev Singh says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:08 pm

    Too good Sir. Brings back fond memories of NDA. Sheer nostalgia.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:51 pm

      Thank you Baldev. Any mention of NDA sends us all down nostalgia lane!

      Reply
  3. DK Sharma says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:10 pm

    Enjoyed the *trot* experience to the hilt RKD. Looking out for some experiences of a jump from 10m springboard.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:06 pm

      Thanx DK. Yes a piece on swimming coming up. One on the jump too… Cheers!

      Reply
  4. Ayyagari Srinivas says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:12 pm

    Rib tickling reminiscences. Oh those days . Handling horses at ENPET INS Satavahana was a different ball game altogether

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:53 pm

      Those were indeed the days. Funny, but in retrospect only! I for one could never master the equines

      Reply
  5. Arvindan says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:22 pm

    Can imagine the plight of poor cadets !!! I am sure this would have brought back lot of training days memories afresh. Enjoyed reading 👍

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:53 pm

      Thank you very much Sir.

      Reply
  6. Anonymous says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:25 pm

    Equitation Lines was always a hilarious (and scary) experience not to mention the few seconds of the dreaded ‘Jumping lane’.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:56 pm

      Oh yes, the jumping lane was not for the faint hearted. Thanx a lot

      Reply
  7. M Chaturvedi says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you Rakesh. I didnt get any exposure of horse riding but can visualize the trauma experienced by NDA cadets.

    Reply
  8. M Chaturvedi says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you Rakesh. I didnt get any exposure of horse riding but can visualize the trauma experienced by NDA cadets.

    Reply
    1. Sudheer Shrestha says:
      16/04/2024 at 5:06 pm

      In one of my initial horse riding classes, unaware of the importance of identifying the friskiest of them by a simple red ribbon tied to its tail, my ordeal started when I was left with no choice other than to pick a red ribboned horse named “Jamjamma.”
      When the troop started to move along at steady trot almost in a straight column, Jamjamma was taking me for a ride, going sideways, then suddenly lifting up two front legs, certainly not under my command. I managed to hang onto the horse’s neck and I must have looked like Clint Eastwood but, when it threw its two rear legs subsequently, I found myself flying in the air. Later as directed by the Ustaad, I was running towards the stable shamefaced, crestfallen and disheveled. And you’re very right, the blasted horse had already found it’s way back, munching away unconcernedly, head borrowed in the feeding trough.
      Thanks RKD for bringing back the vivid memories of my unforgettable equestrian trauma.

      Reply
    2. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:57 pm

      Thank you Sir

      Reply
  9. AMARDEEP SINGH says:
    16/04/2024 at 3:48 pm

    Sir
    Awesome read. I was (un) lucky enough to get Pick Pocket twice. Got thrown as the least agile ones do and horse coolly walked over my spectacles. That ride cost me two visits to Pune ( 🙂 ) and some Rs 350/-.

    Col AD
    K /82

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:58 pm

      Always great to connect with a fellow Killer Amardeep. Thanx a lot. Fortunately it only cost you a pair of spectacles. So all’s well that ends well I guess

      Reply
  10. Vikram Bora says:
    16/04/2024 at 4:09 pm

    Too good sir..a la PG Woodhouse 👏👏👏

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 7:59 pm

      Oh yes, PG Wodehouse is my favourite! Thanx Bora

      Reply
  11. Puruvir Das says:
    16/04/2024 at 4:30 pm

    Very nice sir and brought back good memories. I believe now they teach riding to cadets on a wooden horse. But a piece ion swimming and the 10 m jump is a must.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:00 pm

      Thanx Puruvir. A wooden horse eh? Wonder where they are sticking the ribbon! Yes a piece on swimming and the jump coming up shortly

      Reply
  12. Sudheer Shrestha says:
    16/04/2024 at 4:53 pm

    In one of my initial horse riding classes, unaware of the importance of identifying the friskiest of them by a simple red ribbon tied to its tail, my ordeal started when I was left with no choice other than to pick a red ribboned horse named “Jamjamma.”
    When the troop started to move along at steady trot almost in a straight column, Jamjamma was taking me for a ride, going sideways, then suddenly lifting up two front legs, certainly not under my command. I managed to hang onto the horse’s neck and I must have looked like Clint Eastwood but, when it threw its two rear legs subsequently, I found myself flying in the air. Later as directed by the Ustaad, I was running towards the stable shamefaced, crestfallen and disheveled. And you’re very right, the blasted horse had already found it’s way back, munching away unconcernedly, head borrowed in the feeding trough.
    Thanks RKD for bringing back the vivid memories of my unforgettable equestrian trauma.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:01 pm

      Jamjamma seems to have a lasting impression on you Sudheer! Adds to the nostalgia too. Thanx a lot

      Reply
  13. Sadashiv Vombatkere says:
    16/04/2024 at 5:32 pm

    Great piece Rakesh. Though I did not manage to go to NDA ( you know all scouts that!) I have heard similar tales of equestrian woe from my father-in-law who was 21st course India Sqn. Apparently horses haven’t evolved since he was there 66 years ago.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:03 pm

      No they haven’t evolved! All ex NDA officers have similar stories I guess. Thanx a lot

      Reply
  14. Sarabjeet Singh Parmar says:
    16/04/2024 at 6:23 pm

    Going under the horse was more perilous if it was a stallion. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:03 pm

      Well that too!!

      Reply
  15. Shyamsundar says:
    16/04/2024 at 6:24 pm

    Enjoyed the post. Remembered our brief encounter with the NDA horses when we stayed there for some time as Cadets from Shivaji

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 8:04 pm

      Thanx a lot Shyam

      Reply
  16. Anthony Raj says:
    16/04/2024 at 9:44 pm

    Enjoyed your article on horse riding at the NDA. Memories of ’65’
    came flooding back.
    Some bad, some good.
    Thank you for a good read!
    Anthony.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 10:20 pm

      Thank you very much Sir. NDA equals nostalgia for all of us

      Reply
  17. Cdr N.abranandam says:
    16/04/2024 at 10:53 pm

    Sir,
    Really a nice article. The way it was put forward and by reading we all enjoyed . memories of horse riding is really amazing.

    Warm regards

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      16/04/2024 at 11:04 pm

      Thank you very much Abra

      Reply
  18. Sunil Balakrishnan says:
    21/04/2024 at 7:38 am

    Hi Rakesh a very well written piece with subtle humour that brings back a flood of memories. While my experiences in the Equestrian Lines of NDA has become faded though I am sure I would waded thru these experiences may be like a zombie. What I definitely remember is an encounter with the famous NDA Mount many years after passing out of NDA. During my staff college period, I had joined the Equestrian Club and had been a regular member with getting a decent ride almost every day . I started to think I have become an expert on horseback. Lo behold this was shattered when during the IDT (Industrial Demonstration Tour) from Staff College we visited Pune and I opted for an afternoon indulgence on horseback in NDA. I do not remember the horse assigned to me, but i guess he would recollected my (in)-expertise from my cadets days. He initially allowed me to mount, without much problem, however once we left the confines of the stables and equestrian lines, he started to act up. while I managed to stay on top for quite sometime however during return leg just short of lines, i was subjected to an involuntary dis-mount (with on bruises to my ego) while my stead readily bolted into the stable sans the rider. Thanks for your narration

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      21/04/2024 at 4:36 pm

      Great story Sir. Thank you.

      Reply
  19. Umed Singh Charan says:
    22/04/2024 at 1:10 pm

    A great narration as usual, Rakesh. It also bring back memories of the enormous horse Edward riding whom resulted in walking in Vishram for a considerable duration. Also
    the painful Blanket rides.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      22/04/2024 at 5:54 pm

      At least Edward was stately and sober. No red ribbon! Thanx Umed

      Reply
  20. Avenue 17 says:
    25/04/2024 at 1:15 pm

    I hope, you will come to the correct decision.

    Reply

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