Skip to content
Laughter is Life Laughter is Life

Finding Humour in Slices of Life

  • Home
  • Hi There!
  • We Are Like That Only
  • Humour in Uniform
Laughter is Life
Laughter is Life

Finding Humour in Slices of Life

Naval Officer Tales. Where would life be without alcohol?

rakeshkdahiya, 11/03/202410/04/2025

The discerning ones amongst you would have noticed that alcohol makes rather frequent appearances in my writings (for example here, well here too, and then again here). But then that’s merely because alcohol has so many wondrous qualities that it is not feasible to cover them all in one piece. Of course, amongst its many charming qualities, none is more endearing than its ability to make it’s imbibers lose their inhibitions. Hilarity automatically ensues as (a sometimes unintended) consequence; enriching one’s life experiences.

My mind goes back to May 1987, me a young Midshipman of 20 years, posted on a ship in Visakhapatnam, earning a princely Rs 550/- per month. Now, the Navy loves to issue ‘incentives’ periodically as a means to make us strive harder. A Midshipman is essentially a trainee and the Navy chooses the ‘best Midshipman’ every six months, for one such incentive. We had an exceptionally brilliant coursemate, who we were all sure would certainly be adjudged ‘best Midshipman’ at the end of our Midshipman tenure. I, being one of sharp mind and piercing foresight told said Midshipman that as and when the results are declared, and if he does indeed get the ‘best Midshipman’ award, I would be coming over to his ship for free beer. Noticed my foresight here?

Sure enough, the results came, our brilliant coursemate was so adjudged and here were we, two of us fellow coursemates headed to his ship for free beer. The brilliant Midshipman duly obliged and what with  one thing leading to another, I ended up partaking of 6-8 Carlsberg cans (it may have been more, but my mind, after the third can, was finding counting a tedious exercise). Now those who think that beer is a mild drink, scarcely more potent than a Cola, are only partially right. I say partially because while beer is only about 5-8% proof, 6-8 cans do add up to a significant quantity of the fermented stuff. Or maybe, the beer realising that I was just a stripling with hardly any experience of serious drinking thought it would teach me a thing or two about life. Either which way, sozzled is the word that could best describe my mental state. Fortunately, my other helpful coursemate (let us just call him Midshipman ADA), was there to guide me back to our ship.

 Now my recollection of the sequence of events thereafter is, you will understand, a bit hazy but ADA told me that:-

Somewhere halfway down the ‘gangway’ (the platform that one uses to embark/disembark a ship) I had exhibited a very keen desire to dive into the water, for ostensibly, a swim. The fact that we were in full uniform and would present a somewhat comical spectacle for onlookers, convinced ADA to drag disgruntled me homewards, using (in his words) persuasive skills of the highest order.

Then midway through our homeward walk, with me being half carried half dragged by ADA, I broke into a song using my full lung power. This startled the stragglers heading over to their respective ships, but none more than my own Commanding Officer, who too was homeward bound. Not one to forget naval protocols I belched a very hearty ‘Good Evening Sir’. ADA later told me that the CO did not follow the expected etiquettes, and instead of responding with a jolly ‘Good Evening”, gave us a baleful stare. I thereafter started (as per my ADA) a monologue on believe it or not, ants! Yes, ants.

Be that as it may, we ultimately reached our ship by covering the 300 or so metres in about 30 minutes. This time, while crossing my own gangway, I decided (as per ADA) to engage the nonplussed sailor on duty there and chummily lecture him on the ill effects of drinking alcohol; with one brotherly arm around his shoulder. ADA later told me that the fact that I was wearing my uniform cap in a rather jaunty but unprofessional angle, considerably lessened the impact of my lecture, as did the incoherence of my speech.

I woke up the next morning, still in uniform and a head that was threatening to split into two. This experience taught me one thing – I am not a great tippler. I therefore vowed to keep off drinks and indeed did follow my vow for three months.

Fast forward 7-8 months. We were by now proud four month old Sub Lieutenants, but we did have amongst us coursemates, one Admiral.  Now I’ll excuse you if you raise your eyebrow because yes, it takes about 30 years of toil to get an Admiral’s rank.  Let me explain.

The Navy loves to train us and about 30 of us SLts were sent to one of the training establishments at Mumbai for another dose of learning. It is natural corollary therefore, that some party or another is a constant feature most evenings. On one such occasion, merriment was high and sobriety (always inversely proportional at such festivities), was low. One SLt who happened to be a teetotaller was being goaded by the others to have a sip of the invigorating Old Monk. Finally convinced that a little bit of the right stuff can’t be all bad, he quaffed one glass full in a single gulp, without the aid of namby pamby accompaniments like water or soda (you know how these teetotallers are – no finesse). One could see that this braced him up considerably and (erroneously as it turned out) firmed his conviction that alcohol is nothing but a slightly bitter version of lime soda. Another glass full went down equally quickly to much ooh and aahs from the admiring onlookers.

The thing with Old Monk you see is that it takes, in my guess, 15 minutes to show it’s wonders. The SLt had in the meantime already gulped the equivalent of 7-8 pegs before the lapse of these 15 minutes.  He then started his third glass, but the blasted clock struck 15 minutes. A dreamy look lit up his face. One could also sense that his legs had started to wobble a bit and words were finding it difficult to come out of his mouth; as if his tongue had got into a knot. But haven’t I said in some earlier post that while alcohol may weaken the legs, but as compensation, it stiffens one’s resolve. So, up clambered the SLt onto a table (that it took him 3-4 attempts caused some mirth amongst the co revellers), hollered for everyone to gather around and gave a speech. Regrettably, the passage of time has dimmed my memory on what exactly was said; but there was a somewhat incoherent rendition of the famous song ‘Eh Mere Watan Ke Logon’ (well actually the first line was repeated 14 times), some rousing words on service before self, a confusing but touching para on friendships and camaraderie, another repetition of the same first line of the same song, expressions of love for all of us brothers, and as a grand finale, presumably because the legs finally overcame the resolve, he, somewhat inelegantly, fell off the table. Not before pronouncing himself an Admiral though. Naturally, there was a thunderous applause from the rapt audience. To this day, all us course mates reverently address him as Admiral. He of course was carried to his cabin and deposited in his bed in a manner decidedly unlike an Admiral. He woke up 36 hours later and like Midshipman RK Dahiya, swore off drinks for many years.

Now would such riveting stories ever crop up based on ingestion of butter milk? Of course not. The foregoing does not complete my stories of the beloved ‘som ras’ of course. I will get back to this favourite topic off and on. Cheers!!

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X

Like this:

Like Loading...
Humour in Uniform AlcoholNavy

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Comments (28)

  1. Ajay Agarwal says:
    11/03/2024 at 11:33 am

    Very well narrated! Having shared a few drinks with you in the recent times, let me acknowledge that your level of intensity of discussions and Gyan goes up several notches, as you imbibe larger quantities 🤪! Having said that, having been shipmates on Kirpan more than 3 decades back, and then onwards, I admire your capacity to consume and hold your drinks💪. Waiting for some more anecdotes on this

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      11/03/2024 at 8:02 pm

      Thanx Ajay. I am but a light drinker though. Just 4-5 pegs per occasion

      Reply
      1. Ajay Agarwal says:
        12/03/2024 at 9:15 am

        😁

        Reply
  2. M Chaturvedi says:
    11/03/2024 at 11:48 am

    Very well written Cmde Dahiya. Tickled some old memories.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      11/03/2024 at 8:04 pm

      Thank you Sir. But don’t just remain tickled. Imbibing the good spirit is also essential

      Reply
  3. Anonymous says:
    11/03/2024 at 11:50 am

    A “tipsy” tale indeed sir.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      11/03/2024 at 8:03 pm

      Thanx Tanksale

      Reply
  4. Sunil Kumar Gupta says:
    11/03/2024 at 12:23 pm

    Sir
    Reminded me of those golden days,a very well written article, congratulations

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says:
    12/03/2024 at 11:43 am

    Mids and S Lts indeed have some drinking ‘capacita’. A well written tale Sir.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      12/03/2024 at 1:30 pm

      Oh yes! Thanx Poornanand

      Reply
    2. Ayyagari Srinivas says:
      12/03/2024 at 6:14 pm

      Am sure you rekindled the Admirals memories recently what with his *****.😜😜
      No guesses

      Reply
  6. Cdr N.abranandam says:
    16/03/2024 at 12:53 pm

    Good evening sir,

    Really a great recall , but it was very true from the bottom of my heart about Cmde RK DHAIYA SIR the MOST awaited brand leader of Indian Navy , true word spoken about the admiral , moreover the entire Navy knew about you better than me

    Very interesting and the way you put forward is really amazing sir , further requested to motivate the world and young minds with your great wisdom

    Looking forward eagerly ………

    Warm regards

    Reply
  7. Cdr N.abranandam says:
    16/03/2024 at 1:12 pm

    Good afternoon sir,

    Really very nice recall sir. Very truly spoken from the bottom of my heart about CMDE RK DAHIYA SIR, the really true ,magnificent and brand leader of INDIAN NAVY, more over every person in the Navy knew about you more than me sir.

    The narration put forward is really amazing.

    With your great wisdom the entire world and the young mind can be ignited with your great experience and knowledge.

    Eagerly looking forward

    Warm regards

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      17/03/2024 at 9:45 am

      Woah Abra! At this rate I’ll actually start believing I’m magnificent. Better tone it down!!!

      Reply
  8. Anonymous says:
    17/03/2024 at 7:56 am

    “He woke up 36 hours later and like Midshipman RK Dahiya, swore of drinks for many years”!!!!?????? 🙂 Always envied you all for the naturally superb funny times in life you all had has youngsters . Through your write up , I could well imagine how it would hv turned up or did you leave anything out ???? Please do Another on the TIPSY .

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      17/03/2024 at 9:44 am

      Thank you very much. I’ve already written a few with alcohol as a backdrop. My favourite topic. Yes, will try and write another one on the Tipsy soon!

      Reply
  9. Capt Raja R Patil says:
    30/03/2024 at 10:57 am

    Dear Cmde, Enjoyed the narrative of those Good old days. Keep up your this venture. Regards

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      30/03/2024 at 2:09 pm

      Thank you very much Sir

      Reply
  10. Cmde Sadashiv Vombatkere (Retd) says:
    10/04/2024 at 9:57 pm

    Dear Rakesh,

    You may not remember me but I am roughly your contemporary …. an L officer … I superannuated in Jan 2022 … I got introduced to your wonderful blog by my younger brother …. also an NEC-4th course L officer posted in Hyderabad.

    I have not enjoyed a blog like yours in a long time. More power to you.

    And yes there are shades of Plum in your work. I’m also a big fan… of both Plum and now you. Great going.

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      10/04/2024 at 10:18 pm

      Of course I remember you Sir. And thank you for your very gracious comments. Such appreciation will goad me, in the words of Bertie Wooster, to ‘endeavour to give satisfaction’!!! servedfunnysideup.com

      Reply
      1. Sadashiv Vombatkere says:
        10/04/2024 at 10:42 pm

        Dear Rakesh,

        Tut Tut … that was Jeeves!!! Or possibly on one occasion Rupert Baxter.

        But no matter Jeeves and Wooster… ‘one and same thing’ … especially after a few drinks. It’s the satisfaction that counts.

        Sorry! But I just couldn’t resist the correction …. we can’t get Plum wrong. This is a quote from one of my favourites “Carry on Jeeves”.

        And no more “Sirrinf” … Sadashiv does just great.

        Regards.

        Reply
        1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
          11/04/2024 at 6:17 am

          Roger Sadashiv. Jeeves it is then! Cheers!

          Reply
  11. sklep says:
    16/04/2024 at 7:03 am

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The entire look of your website is magnificent, let alone
    the content! You can see similar here sklep

    Reply
  12. Servis_isMi says:
    20/04/2024 at 8:51 pm

    Секреты долговечности автомобиля: правильное обслуживание в сервисе Лексус.
    Автосервис Лексус Москва http://www.lexus-remont-1.ru/ .

    Reply
  13. DK Sharma says:
    25/04/2024 at 7:32 pm

    RKD….I never knew the actual story till I read this episode (narrated so beautifully by you) of our Admiral whose first encounter with the Monk took him to the dizzying heights. Those were the days when we care two hoots about anyone. Cheers

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      25/04/2024 at 9:27 pm

      Well, alcohol can do that. Those were indeed the days! Thanx DK

      Reply
  14. Anonymous says:
    06/05/2024 at 8:04 pm

    Very well written. I wouldn’t have even half of my exciting anecdotes without alcohol

    Reply
    1. rakeshdahiya4 says:
      06/05/2024 at 8:57 pm

      Yup, alcohol does make life worth living!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Total Views

31,687 views
→ Laughter is Life Stories
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
©2025 Laughter is Life | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes
%d