Onsens – Really Embarrassing, Really Great Fun

The Navy in its magnanimity, decided to depute me to the National Institute of Defence Studies, Tokyo for some higher studies in 2008. Japan of course is an amazing country, neat to a fault, its citizens courteous to an extreme and where trains run accurate to seconds. It is the country of Sumo, Kimonos, Kabuki, Mt Fuji, Sushi and Sashimi, Takoyaki (octopus balls), Geishas, technological marvels, cosplay, Shinkansens (bullet trains), etc etc.

I was fortunate to undergo all these fascinating experiences – climbed Mt Fuji (only halfway as this was during the winters. Incidentally about 400000 people climb it every year), tried takoyaki/sushi/sashimi, witnessed Kabuki and Sumo (both great experiences), visited beautiful Kyoto (and its Geisha Street), saw the devastation caused by the bomb at Hiroshima, visited the site of perhaps the greatest battle of Second World War – Okinawa, travelled in a Shinkansen (speed 300kmph. Now of course they have even faster trains), etc.

However, there was one experience that remains vividly etched in my mind – that of a visit to an Onsen (or a hot water spring). One day, I obliquely let it slip in to my sponsor officer that I was keenly interested in experiencing an Onsen.  He readily agreed to take me to one the coming Sunday. I asked him if I needed to carry anything, you know things like a towel, costume, etc that one normally carries to a swimming pool? He replied in the negative and assured me that everything would be available onsite. Or, at least that is what I thought he said, which I was to realise later, was perhaps not entirely correct (Error No. 1). Maybe the misunderstanding was due to language issues what with my Japanese being worse than his English.

Nevertheless, at the appointed time he picked me up and we drove straight to an Onsen. Onsens, for those who do not know are basically pools having hot mineral water via natural springs that one can leisurely soak in. And thus began my travails.

One needs to bathe prior entering an Onsen due regions of hygiene which was fine with me, punctilious as I am wrt hygiene.  I also noticed that everyone in the bathroom was washing ‘free style’. Now, having spent three years at the National Defence Academy with its quaint custom of community ‘vastraheen’ bathing, I was not a stranger to such bathroom etiquette per se. I was a bit surprised though at this ‘freeness’ in civil surroundings. However, I if anything, am adaptable and adapt I did by divesting myself of all garments.

So here we were, me and my sponsor sitting on adjacent stools and ‘freely’ washing ourselves, he with not a care in the world, and me putting on an air of not having a care in the world. In all honesty I was a little bit nervous at this free spirited atmosphere in a country which can be a wee bit conservative at times.   But my nervousness which may have been at level 7 (on a scale of ten) till now, shot up to 20 (again on a scale of ten), when my sponsor, whistling nonchalantly, walked jauntily out of the bathroom, naked as god made us. This gave me pause for thought, cause my jaw had dropped to my knees. While putting on an air of not having a care in the world within the comforting walls of the bathroom is one thing, I just couldn’t muster the nonchalance exhibited by my sponsor, when it came to stepping out nude into the whole wide world. But assuming this reticence would not reflect well on my country, me being her ambassador and all (as advised during my pre deputation governmental briefings), I picked up my jaw, attached it back to my face, and steeled myself for a dose of exhibitionism.

It may be added here that the Onsen administrators do helpfully give you two towels; one large, one small (slightly smaller than a handkerchief).  The larger towel is to be left in the bathroom and you are allowed to carry the kerchief sized one, not to cover your nethers as I had hoped, but rather to wipe off sweat.  This one is ostensibly kept on your head so that it does not touch the water, again for reasons of hygiene. Nevertheless, resourceful as I am, I decided that this kerchief sized one could be used to protect my modesty till I reached the nearest pool. So, as nonchalantly as is feasible given my state of extreme mental agitation, I held the ‘towel’ at waist height, almost as if I didn’t know its there, and walked I think, casually enough, to the closest pool and literally dived right in. Error No.2

Now my dive caused some comedy, what with the Onsen water being surprisingly hot. So, here I was, out of the pool, much faster than I had got in, to the accompaniment of quizzical looks from the other locals. I pondered. Not easy to do so mind you, when you are stark naked with what looked to me a 100 pair of inquisitive eyes focused on self. The trick I realised on observing some seasoned locals, was to go in gradually, inches at a time, so that the body gets used to the heat. To cut a long story short, I managed to ultimately immerse myself deep enough into the water to afford a modicum of modesty and it was only then that I regained my chutzpah and started enjoying the soak. And it was only then that I ‘jauntily’ place the kerchief on my head imitating the other locals.

Alas my sponsor was a man on a mission, determined to make my Onsen experience complete. It so happens that every Onsen has different hot water spring pools with differing concentrations of minerals.  Some for example may be rich in potassium, some in magnesium, some in other salts. Each pool therefore has different health benefits; some are good for arthritis, some for skin, some others for bones.  The Japanese therefore, move from pool to pool spending about 15 min per pool. My sponsor, damn him, helpfully suggested, that it was time for shifting into another pool.  As the Brits would say, Blimey! It took me some time convincing him that the pool that I was in (I didn’t even know which mineral specific pool it was), was precisely what the doctor had ordered and hence I would like to keep myself here. He therefore reluctantly sauntered off buck naked but jauntily, towards another pool, while I pretended to enjoy my time.

Now, I could have stayed in the same pool indefinitely, however, after some time, the body starts to feel the heat and accordingly, most Onsen guests stay in one pool for only about 15 minutes and thereafter step out and lie down/recline on stools/recliners/stones placed by the administrators, for  10-15 minutes before immersing themselves again. I too, despite a firm resolve to remain submerged for as long as possible, had to exit when it became unbearable. How I perched myself ‘nonchalantly’ on some stools/recliners/stones for those few minutes out in the open is a story for another time….

Suffice to say, it was not jauntily.